Olivia Rose The Start Up Induction

“You start off shy and a bit giggly, expressing your interest in the role. When the recruiter is confused that you’re a psych major not business or compsci, you begin to move his hands, subtly attracting his attention as you move them in mesmerizing gestures and patterns. Your voice takes on a slow, deliberate and mind-numbing pace. Gradually you talk about the benefits of being a psych major and being able to read, interpret and influence people. As your hands motions and voice continue and become more overt you explain how you’ve learned about the power of distraction, for example moving your hands and ways you’ve practiced to make your voice mind numbing, overwhelming and irresistible. You nod at your own suggestions, convincing and encouraging him to think what you want very subtly. Make up and describe the science of how you use a distraction your tone, word-choice and pacing to make others feel sleepy, mushy, weak and suggestible describing the effects on the brain. Narrow his focus until only you and your voice exist. Tell him that when you heard about this on-campus interview you wondered if you could step up your game from making professors give you As and cute boys your sex toys to taking over a company and acquiring massive wealth. All the while you are moving your hands and using words that aren’t too aggressive like “sleepy, mushy, etc.” You ask if any other candidates have been impressive today and then order the recruiter to take out their resumes and hand them to you and completely forget meeting them. Then you tell him he’s so happy to have met you he doesn’t need to see anyone else and is done for the day.”



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